Singleness can be tough, especially when your friends appear to be moving on
Ok so, Team Testified interviewed a group of Christian Youths hoping to capture their thoughts on relationships. They shared 5 really strong points. And whilst this list is not exhaustive, I’m sure we can all relate.
- Singleness can be tough, especially when your friends appear to be moving on. Leaning on key scripture and promises from God keeps us going; you will be called and sought after, Isaiah 62:12. You are precious and honoured in my sight, Isaiah, 43:4. One thing you can’t do is settle for anything less than God has purposed for you, especially out of fear or loneliness because being with the wrong person will only make things worse. Relationships aren’t easy even with the right person!
- No one likes waiting! But learning to wait on God is really important. Waiting expectantly on God will stop you from giving in to bitterness, fear or worry. But they who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint, Isaiah 40:31. By ‘waiting’ we mean petitioning God for answers in His Word, seeking Him for clarity through prayer, direction, understanding and ultimately coming to a place of rich peace and rest as He works things out for your good, Romans 8:28.
- Sex outside of marriage: We heard a great analogy! Imagine you had a lovely fireplace. A fire is lit and covered by a thin metal mesh allowing you to get close to the flames. You lie by the fire for hours feeling warm and cosy. But one day, the fire is left uncovered and a spark leaps out onto your carpet. Now unconfined, the fire spreads, burning everything in it’s path. Like a protected fire, Sex in the context of marriage is great! A deeper level of intimacy with that special God given person, a gift from God. And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one, Matthew 19:5. Sex outside of marriage can have some serious consequences. The Youth raised a good point, having sex outside of marriage ties you spiritually and emotionally to many people, you basically marry them. This is one reason why break-ups can be messy, because we’re effectively breaking a bond that was supposed to be permanent.
- Other influences: There is a lot of noise out there, with TV and social media telling us that it’s ok to have several relationships at once or choose someone because of what they look like or own. One dictionary definition of love is a deep feeling of sexual attraction and desire for another person. We say we love other people when we are attracted to them or they make us feel good. In other words we love because someone fulfils a condition. ‘I love you because you’re beautiful, caring, kind to me or because you take care of me. Our love is also mercurial, we love based on feelings and emotions, which change over time. So when a couple goes through a rocky patch in their relationship, they ‘fall out of love’ because that condition is no longer met. Be careful what you allow to influence you i.e. what kind of music do you listen to? What do you watch on TV or online? Surround yourself with the things of God. Guard your heart above all else for it determines the course of your life Proverbs 4:23
- God’s love is unconditional, He doesn’t love us because we’ve earned it in any way.
The bible tells us that He is love, 1 John 4:8. For this is how God loved the world: He gave[a] his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life, John 3:16. This is quite amazing really, although we chose to reject Him, God mends the separation by sacrificing His only son, a free gift to pay the price for our sin. And all we have to do is accept His free gift. It is this transforming love that enables us to love each other like God loves us. This love must form the basis of any and every relationship, whether you’re single or in a relationship, God is the best example of love. Knowing this means you don’t need to seek fulfilment in how anyone makes you feel.
As testified by Anthony, Bayanda, Chanel & Faith