“I’ve never felt like I truly belonged anywhere”
I’ve never felt like I truly belonged anywhere, from a young age I’ve moved from home to home and I never stayed in a town or city for longer than a year. Because of this, I tried to be all things to all people; being whatever the environment called me to be.
It was easy to make friends this way because I was selling something that people wanted, selling an identity. But I fought to be anyone but myself and lost sight of who I was. I became numb to a lot of things and stopped caring about people. I fed my flesh, lived like a nomad, hurting a lot of people in the process. I developed pride, lechery, selfishness and kept a lot of secrets. THEN I MET GOD, And He changed my life forever…
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still on a journey and when I feel myself slipping back into old habits, I often turn to a verse in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 where Paul says “I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.” This showed me that our purpose on earth is to glorify the kingdom and I need to become “all things to all men”, not to please them but to win to their salvation.
As for finding a home, that’s still a challenge, but at least now I know where home is and I’m heading in that direction, towards the kingdom. Whenever I’m feeling lost or empty, or like the prodigal son I read John 14:2 Jesus says “Don’t let this throw you. You trust God, don’t you? Trust me. There is plenty of room for you in my Father’s home. If that weren’t so, would I have told you that I’m on my way to get a room ready for you? And if I’m on my way to get your room ready, I’ll come back and get you so you can live where I live. And you already know the road I’m taking.”
I think it’s important to know that no matter how wayward, empty or hollow you may feel, in the end you always have somewhere to belong. Don’t be anyone but yourself, observe the people around you and ask yourself if the environment you’re in is really where you want to be.
As testified by Anihony