“I felt a huge void inside me which nothing ever seemed to fill”
My journey with God so far has been mind blowing and when I think about how much my life has been transformed in such a short space of time it makes me cry tears of total joy and happiness.
For many years I felt deeply hurt, rejected and unloved. I felt a huge void inside me which nothing ever seemed to fill. I believe this all started from early childhood where I was raised in a household with a lot of domestic violence, my parents did not express healthy emotions toward each other or me for that matter.
I left home at the age of 18 needing to fend for myself, I no longer felt i had any family security. I decided that I was going to make a success of myself, so with sheer drive and determination I trained to be an accountant and bought my own house. However, the feeling of deep emptiness persisted and I struggled with my identity which made connecting with people very challenging.
I suffered workplace bullying in 2 jobs and ended up in a very damaging emotionally abusive relationship. I felt a deep anger and sadness so I started partying harder and taking drugs to numb the pain. I was diagnosed with the disease of addiction and my mental health suffered.
In my time of total brokenness and despair, I cried out to God and said I wanted to start going to church. In that moment I felt God breakthrough into my life in such a powerful way that my life changed forever!
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10
God has healed me from depression, emotional trauma and has broken the chains of addiction. I feel so loved and worthy and i’m gaining an identity in who I am with confidence and courage. God is healing my deep rooted wounds from the past and is making me whole again!
Jesus turned around, and when he saw her he said, “Daughter, be encouraged! Your faith has made you well.” And the woman was healed at that moment. Matthew 9:22
I have since joined my Church’s ministry team and attend outreach trips where we go onto the streets, singing and dancing and sharing the Gospel with people which is great fun 🙂
I have found that nothing this world has to offer is worth choosing over a relationship with God. The highs and the pain are all temporary but Gods love and goodness are constant and he will give you everything you truly need to flourish beyond any human power possible 🙂
Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. Romans 8:18
As Testified by Gemma